I just turned 35 years old last month and I have mixed feelings of fear, nostalgia and despair. This is probably because I am losing my way again. It feels like the last five years, while I am here in England, the devil kept whispering and tempting me to think of negative things. I feel like my nape is pulsating from stress and any minute it will explode. I don’t want to have a CVA. I am too young for that. I don’t want to die.

Philippians 4:8 says “Whatsoever is True, Honest, Just, Pure, Lovely and of Good spirit – if anything is excellent and praiseworthy – think about such things.”

I think this bible verse will save me. I should not be crippled by the challenges at work, the lengthy transport, infertility, the weight gain, the lump in my forehead, the financial distress and never ending fear of other unknowns. It’s too much sometimes but I need to redirect my focus to the goodness of the Lord.