Putting my passion into words is one of my ways to reach my Goals. It gives me the vision and drive to make it happen but, recently, writing feels very heavy for me because I am heavily distracted. I didn’t even post anything on December 2020 although I have got so many ideas and stuff to talk about.
There is a need for me to focus on one online platform… and tonight I am going to decide that I will focus on BLOGGING. Facebook, Instagram, Tiktok and Twitter eat my time, which makes me very unproductive. Netflix, Amazon and Youtube videos are similar culprits. I feel like I am being spread too thin and my mind is all over the place. I can’t even focus on the goals I set to achieve last year. I guess I resorted in these online portals to escape? My thought process has been all over – organised but disorganised… Does it makes sense?
I wrote down my goals on my bullet journal last week. I try to read it in a form of prayer as much as I can… everyday. I even wrote it down on a white board beside our bed so my wife could pray for it as well.
When I had the mental and emotional breakdown in November 2019, I promised myself to set things straight and simple. As repeatedly mentioned in this blog, my mind was a mess. The drive to reach my goals is there but something is holding me back… FEAR – this thing placed me in a box.. and I dwelled in it for a long time.
Now, I am extending myself out in the box by strengthening my relationship with God because I know I will have the spirit of POWER and not fear. I just finished a devotional plan with a friend a few weeks ago and our conversation in the “talk it over” session gave me a clear understanding why I wasn’t moving forward into reaching my goals.
Although I am doing much better nowadays, I was honest to tell my friend that I am still having negative thoughts in my mind, which produces this fear and low self esteem. I still have to rewire my thoughts and God is the only powerful force who can fix it.
I believe the Lord can fix it. I am positive about it. He lights my way and it ALL makes sense now. The entire peaks and lows in 2019 to 2020 were designed by God so I can fortify my faith… So, I can be closer to Him. My experience helped me find one of my favourite Bible verses, which I know helped me clear my thoughts.
I tried to be happy and did everything to be good on the career opportunity I had. The people I worked with in the past knows that I always give my 110% in all my endeavours but stuff I cannot control happened and this lead me to feel insecure, small and insignificant. It freaked my mind. It’s not the workplace but the real reason goes deeper than what people thought of and I feel that it is inappropriate to share it in this blog. Simply put, I lost the confident, ambitious and ferocious boy in me during that entire chapter of my story. period.
Maybe I wasn’t meant to reach the goals I wanted to achieve last year because He is telling me that I’ve set the bar too low. I had small opportunities last year that I was happy to settle in but, I assume, God took it away as soon as I had it because He knows that I am capable of doing more than that.
Setting up my Goals this year created a new fire in me because I am MORE confident with His plans. God has my back all the time. I am not going to settle in smaller goals anymore because it will feel like an insult to God’s power.
Have you set your goals this year? Honestly, my 2021 goals scare me. It should be. Definitely, our goals should scare us. Otherwise, there will be no challenge. Will it be hard to achieve? Yes, 100% So what? I have a powerful God who can help me realise it.