Random thoughts 1

Do you ever experience having an “AHA!” moment?

Out of nowhere, we think about shallow and deep stuff whether we are at work, at home or in a pensive state somewhere in Europe in a tiny one bedroom apartment. We find ourselves answering obscure questions. Then, AHA!

I am aware that I really have to write about these contemplative moments because I usually forget them. There’s a satisfying energy that dances across my mind, which in turn, brings life into my soul. It’s so vague and cheesy but my AHA goes this way…

TWENTY ONE

I just realised that I have been writing on a personal journal for 21 years now. Me! – the kinda introvert kid with a pen and notebook. I was a boy who liked to write some real life mess and semi-fictional stories.

Going through the good old notebooks, I noticed that there is a recurring pattern. I fall back to the same old problems. That’s why it is important for me to write stuff because it reminds me not to go back to my own unpleasant habits – I get to relearn the things I learned.

Quite honestly, writing stuff helped me survive puberty, my teenage worries, my proper and odd jobs in the past and of course, the bad relationships. However, it also high lighted the beautiful moments in my life.

ONLINE BLOGGING!

This month, I celebrate the first year of the Married to a HappySoul Blog. Yay!

To be frank, I have been planning to write an online blog since I was in school but I was scared to share my thoughts to the public. I fear that that the people will judge me by the way I think and write. I had so many ideas before but I resorted to just write to myself and not to be bothered by sharing it to the world. Simply, I never had the courage.

However, last year, I was brave to finally do it. I promised myself not to be too conscious of my grammar or my writing style because it blocks my creativity and passion to share the good things in life. I figured… if I wouldn’t this, I won’t be able to find “my own tribe”. The tribe or group of people who enjoys reading my own beautiful shit.

I know… I still have a lot to improve in terms of writing and it is something that I really want to be good at. Can you keep a secret? I wish that someday I can write a book and it will help thousands of people around the world.

MENTAL HEALTH

I was on the verge of losing my mind in 2019. For some people, people this year is the worst but mine was last year. I had no drive to face the challenges I come across, no determination or whatsoever, no confidence and I had the lowest self esteem. My mind was a hot mess in a bad way; crippling… paralysing.

“Love God with all your Heart, Mind and Soul” this bible verse and my real friends, my family especially my wife are the inspiration to this blog. For a year, I wrote stuff that took my mind into healing. My primary goal is to be a better man for myself and others but I realised that I can achieve this by MAKING LIFE SIMPLE – that means my focus should be centred to nourishing myself with the true vine and be of service, in my own capacity, to the people and things I love even to those who are not…

At present, I am glad that I can sleep for 10 to 12 hours, no more palpitations and the constant fear of the unknown is diminishing. I believe I am on the right path.

Cheers to a future of love and healing!

So, AHA!