the grief of baldness

I have been bald for 8 years but the grief of baldness is actually during the process of “balding”. It is so dreadful to see yourself in the mirror with a receding hairline. I was 23 years old when I noticed that there are signs of me losing my hair at an early age. Several friends mentioned it repeatedly but I was on denial. I frequently tell others especially myself that my father and my uncles aren’t bald so there is a slim chance for me to go down that road.

I briefly shaved my head that time but grew it back a year later. For two years I was trying to hide my hairline by wearing caps and covering it with the hair from the back or side of my head. It was hideous but I was optimistic. I used different methods to prevent hair loss. I used minoxidil, mane n’ tail and a bunch of products that doesn’t work.

The grief actually hit me every time I see a bloke same as my age with a lit hair cut and I see the confidence it gives that person. I watch myself in the mirror knowing I couldn’t have that kind of hair.Thus, my confidence level propelled downward. Well, that was me a decade ago. Before, my mindset was that our hair frames our face and it gives structure, identity and personality. I am a happy and cool person in my opinion but I was disappointed that I couldn’t express it with my hair. There’s always a meme or a joke regarding baldness and that always scared me. In addition, science says that having thick healthy hair is usually correlated with great fertility and attraction. So, it was really depressing at some point. In fact, the “Balding” period actually forced me to self deprecate in gatherings or when I initially meet people.

I permanently and completely shaved my hair when I was 26 years old. I was glad that my girlfriend and now my wife didn’t mind it. She actually liked it. I was surprised that people got used to it as time went by. Actually, as I go back, most people don’t mind me having no hair. If somebody made a bald joke, I didn’t mind it. I embraced the baldness and loved it. I actually became more confident. My relationship with family and my career actually flourished because I was in the right mindset and disposition.

Loving myself and my own body is actually my key to deliver myself out from the grief of baldness. I was afraid of losing my identity but I learned to own my new identity and highlighted the best thing about myself.

I am Nikko. I am bald but I know that I am a good son, a friend and a loving husband. My wife thinks being bald is sexy – it’s an assumption but I believe she thinks that way. I have a type A personality but I am learning how to loosen up and have fun in my own little way. This is me and I am happy with what God gave me. Of course, there are some factors that can paralyse our confidence or blur our own self worth. I am also a victim of that in a distant past… it’s not all about the hair! But that is something we can talk about in another time.

So, if you are balding, shave it. If you have the means, do a hair transplant or have the fancy wigs. Whatever makes you happy. In my case, I learned to love how I look with no hair. I can express myself with a beard, good skin and styling. However, sometimes I wonder how I would look like if I have hair. That can be arranged in photoshop. haha.

Have a great day Happy Souls! Be kind to yourself today.

From 2007 to Present